Small Miracles

In remembrance of my dear friend Francesca Meredith.  She’s teaching yoga to the angels.

Born: 12/23/1958

Transitioned in Peace: 11/25/2018

I decided to find my own voice by starting this blog about overcoming the ‘imposter’ syndrome. An easy place for me to start was to share my reflections this holiday season on friendships and small miracles. This inaugural post is in remembrance of my dear friend Francesca “Checka” who was called to the angels one year ago, just shy of her 60^th birthday, from breast cancer.  She was resilient all along and believed until her last breath, that she would heal and continue to thrive.  She was a model of compassion.  She was tender-hearted, curious, playful, inquisitive, and not afraid to show her vulnerabilities.  For these precious gifts she was so loved by her many friends. In a world where we are rewarded for appearing strong by hiding our feelings, she opened her heart to you in the hopes you would find comfort in opening yours to her – and hence, open both of you to healing.  

At the time Francesca was completing her life journey (albeit Checka never doubted she would continue to heal), I had recently resigned from a consulting company to consider my next step in my career.  I was considering a number of executive positions at the time, but I had also started to think through what building my own business might look like.  I had just gotten some early traction in the Fall with my own business ideas when my beloved 4-year-old Beagle/Dachshund mix, Lily, went into sudden kidney failure. We (my now husband) and I were devastated when, at the hospital, they told us she wasn’t likely to come home with us – alive, anyway. 

Well, she pulled through! And from late Summer through the end of that year, I dedicated my new found capacity giving her the best quality of life we could as there was no ‘cure’ for her.  During the Fall months, I spent a lot of time with Checka.  When Checka had the strength, we’d take long slow walks in the park with Lily.  Sometimes, we had to push Lily in a stroller. Sometimes, we had to stop at several points so Checka could regain her breath. Both beautifully determined to soak in every last bit of warmth from the sun that day.  Both determined to be present and savor the sounds the rustling leaves made or the scamper of chipmunk feet (my Lily was fascinated by chipmunks) prepping for the winter ahead.  I learned a lot during that time: 

• I learned patience can reveal small pleasures.
• I learned that holding onto worry only brings on more of it.
• I learned real strength is in acknowledging your vulnerabilities. 
• I learned that real courage is about surrender.

But the biggest lesson I learned was not to overlook the small miracles.

In utter frustration about Lily’s health situation one morning on a walk with Checka I was telling Checka how defeated I was feeling that after all I had been doing to try to save Lily, her kidneys were still declining. It was in that moment she said to me, “Jen, always hold onto hope.  When I first got cancer and started to get really sick from it, to the point I couldn’t even get out of bed and had to wear braces around my back and neck because of how fragile my bones had become, I kept praying and praying and praying for a miracle. Then one day it hit me.  Miracles happened all the time!  I just didn’t see them because I was expecting one day I’d wake up and suddenly be able to walk again.  But it doesn’t work that way.  I started to look at each day a little more carefully and saw how small miracles are happening every day.  Celebrate the small miracles and you will see how blessed you are.  Look at me now, seven months after I didn’t have the strength to stand, I am walking with you. It took a lot of little miracles to be with you, in this moment, today.”

So, perhaps you are asking – ‘Jen – I get how this is a message about life and hope and living each day yadda yadda, but what does that have to do with business and starting a company?’

In a word: everything.

I have heard so many times that starting a business is a lot about resilience, grit, smarts, luck and timing.  I believe it! But I also think, it takes a lot of small miracles! A year ago, I never thought this is where I’d be – writing this to celebrate the small miracles over the course of the year. I will admit, when I started and for many months into it, I was wishing and praying and hoping for a big miracle that we’d knock it out of the park our first year and the stress of the next source of income would be relieved. Well, that didn’t quite happen… although it almost did. But I am learning that how successful you are depends on how you define it.  Maybe we didn’t achieve all of the lofty goals we imagined, but what we did achieve, has fundamentally changed me as a person and has enriched my life and there is no metric that I am aware of that can measure that success! So today, I celebrate these 5 small business miracles (as there are way too many to list):

1. I found a talented and energetic partner to help drive a mutual vision.
2. We’ve defined a mission to help the conscientious leader achieve her business goals.
3. We’ve built a network of amazing talent to support our clients.
4. We’ve built meaningful relationships with our first few clients.
5. We’ve grown our team adding talented partners who create value for our clients.  

So, I end this blog by saying – in life, every day, there are small miracles.  The more you let go of what you think ‘should be’ and you allow yourself to ‘become’, you’ll see them everywhere.

As my husband reminds me to, “Let go and in being, become.”  So simple yet so complex 😊

I thank you Checka for showing me the small miracles….